Monday, 22 April 2013

This Is Not the Post I Promised

Last time I said my next post would be about exercise - I lied. That's something you need to learn about me, sometimes I lie. Not intentionally, I just don't think before I speak and often times I say what I THINK reality should be instead of what it actually is.

For example: "I told him where to put it!"

"You did?"

"Actually... no, but I wanted to!"

So yes, I intended to make a post about exercise but this post struck me as more interesting and so the discussion of how much I love lifting heavy things will have to wait for another time.

Now, let's talk about restaurants. No, really, let's talk about restaurants and why I can't stand them!

For most people going to a restaurant is a treat. We go to escape the drudgery of cooking for ourselves and the inevitable clean up that must follow cooking at home. For most people it's an opportunity to enjoy good food and good company.

For me going to a restaurant is a stressful, uncomfortable, often times traumatizing ordeal.

Here's why.

A: They never, ever, ever, EVER get my order right. "I can't have diary, gluten, nuts or apples. What on your menu is safe?"

The waiter will ask the cook, then return to give me my options. I will order only to receive food that either has butter on it or another allergen. This is always the case. And I often worry about cross contamination.

Did you know Boston Pizza claims to have 'gluten-free' products? For something to be truly gluten-free (and thus safe for allergy sufferers) it must be prepared on properly sanitized surfaces and cooked in gluten-free ovens. Do you really think they're preparing their 'gluten-free' selections on properly sanitized surfaces? I don't. I have a very strong suspicion there is a great deal of cross-contamination going on in their kitchen. And I strongly suspect this is the case in any restaurant.

This may seem a very small complaint to some but for me this is potentially life threatening. Get a bit of dairy in my meal and my stomach will hurt for awhile. Get a bit of gluten and I'll feel ill. Get a bit of nut in there and I'll die. Period.

B: The noise. OH THE NOISE! How can I eavesdrop if there are ten conversations going on at the same time? I'm sure that I was autistic or something in a past life because the noise in restaurants bothers me a great deal. All the voices at once... I just don't like it. For a variety of reasons but mostly it hurts my head.

C: The Wait Staff. This one may seem VERY odd but there seem to be three kinds of wait staff. The Overly Friendly - honestly I find these ones annoying. I don't want to chat with my wait staff. I haven't come to visit with them, I've come to visit with whomever I'm eating with. I just don't like it when they go on and on and on... argh. I've had my moments as a cashier but as a cashier it's just me and them and nothing else to fill the silence. In a restaurant setting the wait staff has no reason to linger or fill the gap of silence. The Overly Rude - these are the ones who are rushed and don't pay attention to your order and sometimes even get a bit rude and obnoxious. These are the eye rollers, the short, snipped responses and the ones who most often expect the biggest tips. Very Rarely The Good - these ones just do their job. They smile. They are polite. But they don't try to chat you up or waste your time. They just do their job! It's nice.

D: The price. Really? I can feed myself for maybe $20 a week and they expect me to pay over $28.00 for one meal? HAH! Not likely.

Perhaps I haven't been to the right restaurants but as it is I don't think I'll ever trust strangers enough to eat something I haven't prepared myself.

Strangely enough fast food places don't bother me as much. Places like A&W or McDonalds provide handy dandy ingredient lists so you can read exactly what's in their food. They list common allergens and often have warnings for allergy sufferers. This gives me quite a bit more confidence than your average restaurant.

Maybe one day someone will open a restaurant just for allergy sufferers. A quiet, gentle atmosphere where one can enjoy an intimate time away from the drudgery of cooking at home but honestly I don't expect this to happen any time soon!

And there you have it! My rant of the day.

And no cute drawings this time around. Sorry. ):

1 comment:

  1. Good gravy! I feel for you Nicole and I can't even imagine what that would be like to live this way! None the less, great post! Very much enjoyed reading this! You know in the "big city" I have noticed a lot of restaurants tailoring to people with allergies especially gluten free stuff , I think their is hope on the horizon for you and many others. Also I am noticing a big trend with even people who aren't allergic to gluten avoiding it anyway! The restaurants are already giving in! At least here Hahaha


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You know what I hate? Narcissism! You know what I love? ME!